Asking for help is not always easy. But it can relieve stress and improve your overall well-being. Discover what’s holding you back so you can move past it.
Life can feel overwhelming at times, and when it does, stress happens. It’s a natural part of life. Yet, when stress goes on for too long, it can impact your health and well-being. You might have days, weeks, or even months where you carry the weight of too much responsibility and the stress that often comes with it. That stress can weigh you down—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Fortunately, it doesn’t hurt to ask someone to help you carry the weight. Having someone to lean on and to share your workload can lighten your burden and help ease your stress. It’s also a healthy choice to seek support from friends and family when life throws unexpected curveballs your way, such as a health or financial crisis, or the loss of a loved one.
Why it’s important to ask for help
If you tend to tackle everything on your own or never accept help, take a step back and ask yourself: “Can I actually use some help?” If you’re feeling overworked and stressed, the answer is likely “yes.” If so, it’s important at this juncture to understand how getting help can benefit you and your health.
First, keep in mind the impact that living in a high-stress state can have on you. When stress becomes part of your daily existence, your fight-or-flight response is always turned on. This can lead to chronically high levels of cortisol and other stress hormones, which can disrupt your body and its processes. In turn, you may start to experience mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression. Or you may face other health problems, such as muscle tension, high blood pressure, sleep problems, and/or weight gain. Over time, chronic stress may also raise the risk of a heart attack or stroke.
In addition to relieving stress, asking for help can also:
- Allow others to feel closer to you (because you’re being vulnerable and letting them in)
- Improve your mood and overall happiness
- Free up more of your time to do the things that you enjoy
Now that you know why it’s a good idea to ask for help, the next step is to explore what’s stopping you from doing so.
Why asking for help is hard—and how you can reframe it
If you find yourself hesitating at the thought of asking for help, you’re not alone. However, keep in mind that the fears that are stopping you from reaching out are often the very reasons why you may need to.
All it takes is some reframing. Here are some common fears, along with how you can adjust the way you perceive them and fine-tune your approach in asking for help:
- Fear of vulnerability. This fear can pose a huge hurdle to seeking help. You may worry about how others may see you when you ask for help. You may fear they’ll see your request as a sign of weakness or incompetence.
How you can reframe it: Asking for help shows courage, not weakness. It can also be a powerful way to build trust and connect with others. This may result in not only deeper but also more supportive relationships. Plus, others may also feel encouraged to seek your help in return.
- Fear of losing independence or control. For some, self-reliance is a deeply ingrained value. You might be someone who has always preferred to manage problems alone. Maybe this is due to not trusting someone else to get the job done. Maybe you feel uncomfortable relying on others. Or maybe it’s a lifelong habit that’s hard to break.
How you can reframe it: While being independent has its pros, it’s not always realistic. Everyone, at some point in life, needs help. Try to let go of the idea that you have to do everything and solve every problem alone. Also, by reaching out to others, you are taking control of the situation, not losing control of it.
- Fear of rejection. The fear of being refused might stop you from asking for help. Oftentimes, rejection is associated with an attack on self-worth. So, this fear can be a strong hurdle to asking for help.
How you can reframe it: By asking for help, you invite others to support you. This allows them to contribute meaningfully to you and to your relationship, whether you’re family or a friend. It can be a win-win situation for everyone involved. If you ask for help and the person does refuse, try not to take it personally. Understand that they simply may not be able to help at this time, and that’s okay. You can ask another person for help instead.
- Fear of being a burden. You may also avoid asking for help out of concern for burdening others. So, rather than asking for help, you may opt instead to protect others while ignoring your own needs.
How you can reframe it: Research suggests that we overestimate the burden on others, and that people are more willing to help than we may think. Also, when you ask a person for help, clearly state that you don’t want to overwhelm or burden them. Then invite them to be honest if your request feels like too much for them. This can put the person at ease and help them respond to your request in an open, truthful way. And it can ease your fears of being a burden, too.
Once you get past your initial fears, you can begin to accept that asking for and receiving help is not as scary as you thought. That will free you up to seek help the next time you need it.
Steps to guide you when asking for help
Once you’ve acknowledged that you need help, recognized it’s okay to ask for it, and your fears are no longer getting in the way, you can then take steps to ask for help. Here are some to try out:
1. First, identify what it is you need
Do you need help with your daily tasks or activities? For example, if you're feeling overwhelmed with household chores, identify specific tasks that you would like help with. Do you need assistance with errands? If grocery shopping and appointments are becoming too much, pinpoint the exact tasks that are causing you stress. Providing clear, actionable steps to your helpers will make it easier for them to understand how they can assist in the way that you’re hoping for.
The help you need may also have less to do with errands and chores and more to do with a difficult life problem you’re facing. Maybe you’re struggling with a recent health or financial crisis. Maybe you’re facing a divorce or having relationship problems with another family member or friend. Or maybe you’ve recently lost a beloved pet or family member. Asking for emotional support during tough times is just as important as asking for help with chores and errands.
2. Consider who can help you
Can you reach out to a family member, friend, or neighbor for help? For instance, if a neighbor has offered help in the past, they might be able to assist with specific errands or chores in the future. Can you talk with your adult children or close friends about any stressful problems you’re facing right now?
3. Focus on the benefits you’ll receive when asking for help
Will it help you feel less stressed and more relaxed? For example, delegating tasks might give you the peace of mind needed to focus on your well-being. Will you have the capacity to do more things that you enjoy? Will you be able to spend more time with loved ones, or on self-care, hobbies, or simply resting? If you’re coping with a stressful life event, will support from friends and family ease some of your sadness or anxiety?
If you feel like you’re struggling and need help with your mental health, then you might want to seek help from a mental health professional. Or, if it’s an emergency, seek help by calling or texting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Remember to set boundaries for yourself and others
Setting boundaries can help prevent stress from spiraling out of control. If work and life responsibilities are ramping up, figure out what you can take off your plate. This will help you get ahead of stress before it starts to linger and really weigh you down. It also helps you avoid burnout and protect your mental health.
What about when you’re asked for help? While offering to help someone is great, there may be times when it’s better and completely okay to say “no.” If you’re overwhelmed or have too much on your plate, there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first. Just be sure to communicate these needs clearly and openly.
By facing and overcoming the common barriers to asking for help, you can also avoid the stress of always trying to handle everything on your own. You can improve your well-being and build stronger connections with those around you. So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for help—you might find that it can do more good than harm!
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This information is not intended to take the place of regular medical care or advice. Please check with your doctor before using this information or beginning any self-care program. Images used for this article do not depict any members of the Silver&Fit Program.
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This article was written by Stephanie Ruiz, edited by Gail Olson, and clinically reviewed by Elizabeth Thompson, MPH, RDN, on July 7, 2025.
