Working with a psychotherapist can help support your mental health and well-being in several ways. If you’ve decided to seek help, finding a therapist you’re comfortable with is key because it will help you stick with, and get the most from, your treatment.
Before exploring some of the ways to find the right therapist, it’s helpful to understand some of the reasons why it may be a good idea in the first place.
How do you know if you need psychotherapy?
Certainly, if you’re experiencing any signs of a mental illness (such as depression or anxiety), seeking treatment from a licensed therapist is vital to your recovery.
Understand that not getting treatment for a mental illness can negatively affect your mood, behavior, and physical health. It may also raise your risk for addiction, worsening mental illness, and/or suicide.
Mental illness is not the only reason to seek psychotherapy
Even if you don’t suspect mental illness, there may be other reasons why you would benefit from working with a therapist.
A mental health expert can help you learn to cope with an upsetting life event. When the world gets you down, they can give you tools to help you tap into and build your inner strength. This can boost your self-esteem and confidence. Working on these things can help protect your mental health now and in the future.
Melissa Katcher, MSW, LMSW —a licensed clinical social worker with over 15 years of experience providing psychotherapy to both children and adults—describes some of the other life hurdles therapy can help with:
“A lot of times, people will come to therapy looking for support in navigating relationships. How do we interact with each other? How do we communicate better? How do we understand and get on board with the people who are important to us in our lives?”
Katcher also explains that therapy can help you adapt to those inevitable, and sometimes difficult, changes we all face.
“Oftentimes, too, if you have a big life transition and are having a problem adjusting to it—or to other life changes—that creates additional stress. That might, in turn, cause difficulties with sleep. Or it might cause more irritability, or other problems with your mood or with your relationships. These problems can all impact your ability to function in an optimal way—in your relationships, in your workplace, or in other important roles in your life.”
Even if you feel slightly out of sorts, but don’t know why, a therapist can help you get to the root of the problem, which can help keep it from getting worse.
“You might notice that you’re having some troubles with little things, but not necessarily recognize that they’re significant enough to seek therapy,” Katcher says. “Or you may think that things have to be really bad before you seek therapy.
“But you don’t have to have ‘I-can’t-get-out-of-bed' levels of depression. Maybe you’re feeling a little underwhelmed or a little lackluster about life. Or smaller things, like a life transition, additional stress, or trouble sleeping, can all be good reasons to have someone help you.”
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What kind of therapist should you choose?
Before you start your search for a mental health expert, it will help to know about the many kinds that are available.
Psychotherapy is a broad term. It’s a form of treatment you can get from a wide range of experts. These include psychologists, psychiatrists, marriage and family counselors, social workers, clinical counselors, and psychiatric nurse practitioners. Depending on your needs, any of these mental health experts may be suitable for helping you.
Psychiatrists and nurse practitioners typically prescribe medications, but in some cases, they may recommend talk therapy (though this is more commonly provided by other types of mental health experts.)
How to begin your search
If you’ve decided to go forward with counseling, the first step is to gather a list of potential therapists. Here are a few ways to get started:
- Ask your primary doctor to recommend one or more therapists.
- Ask your health insurance company for a list of therapists in their network.
- Check if you have access to an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) through your work. You might find that mental health services are available through the program—often at low or no cost.
- Talk with trusted friends or family. They may be able to suggest someone who has helped them in the past.
- Use a referral service. The American Psychological Association has a database and an online tool to help you search for a therapist . The National Register of Health Service Psychologists also offers a database .
How to narrow your search
As you create a list of potential therapists, note each one’s unique specialties.
Some focus on child or adult psychology. Others specialize in marriage, family, or individual counseling and many online search tools provide this type of information. Look for a link to each psychotherapist’s website to help you learn more about them.
Also be aware of the types of mental health problems each therapist treats. Some of the common ones are:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Substance use disorder/addiction
- Obsessive compulsive disorders (OCD)
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Bereavement/grief therapy (including pet grief)
- Neuropsychological conditions
- Other mental health problems
Other practical things to look for during your online search for a therapist:
- Are they accepting new patients? (You may need to call to find out.)
- Are they accessible (close to home)?
- Do their available appointment times work for your schedule?
- If they are located far away, do they offer telehealth appointments?
- Are they affordable?
- Do they accept your insurance, or will you need to pay out-of-pocket?
- What is the co-pay?
- What education and credentials do they have?
- Are they licensed?
You may also be more comfortable working with someone who is similar to you in certain ways. Think about whether these factors matter to you when looking for the right fit:
- Gender
- Age
- Ethnicity
- Languages spoken
If the search tool you use doesn’t provide this information, search online for the websites of the therapists you’re considering. Many therapists will include a written description that delves more deeply into their background, philosophy, and approach to treatment. Read through and see what kind of sense you get from their bio or “About” page.
Schedule a brief screening appointment
Once you have a list of your top choices, call each one and ask if you can schedule a 10- to 15-minute appointment through video chat or in person. Many therapists are willing to do this.
Speaking briefly to each potential therapist can help you get a better feel for them and offers a chance to see if you and your therapist “click.”
During your chat, look for signs that they will be a good fit. Note whether each therapist:
- Makes eye contact
- Listens attentively
- Seems warm, friendly, and interested in you
- Shows compassion and empathy
- Seems authentic/genuine
- Seems like someone you connect with and can relate to
- Takes the time to explain how they work with their clients/patients
- Makes you feel at ease
- Asks you questions about your needs and treatment goals
- Shows a willingness to partner with you and ask for your input
Katcher describes her main goal during initial screening consultations with potentially new patients/clients:
“When I do an initial consult call, my goal is to be fully open and honest about where my strengths are and what my methods are. I make sure to say whether I have a lot of experience in a certain area, or if it is something that is completely outside my comfort zone.”
The main goal of a first screening appointment is to ask yourself whether you have a good gut feeling. Is this someone you’ll feel comfortable opening up to? This is crucial, given that you will be sharing your deepest, most vulnerable aspects of yourself, such as your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
You may want to bring a list of questions to your initial chat. Here are some things you may want to ask:
- Can you describe how you collaborate with your patients/clients to explore and agree upon the therapeutic goals and treatment approaches that will work best for them?
- During your sessions, do you mostly listen to what your clients have to say or do you offer feedback and suggestions?
- Are you open to receiving feedback from me during the course of treatment?
- Do you give exercises or “homework” to do between sessions?
- What types of treatments do you use? Are they evidence-based treatments?
- How do these treatments work and how can they help with my unique mental health issue(s)?
Tips for working around the shortage of mental health experts
Rates of mental illness have risen in recent years, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic. The number of mental health experts has not kept pace with this uptick in demand, which has led to a shortage of therapists. Casting a wider net and being open to different kinds of providers may help you find someone who is taking new patients.
Katcher also suggests getting on the waiting lists of 4 or 5 different therapists you’re interested in working with. She also suggests being open to starting therapy, even if you haven’t found someone who feels like the perfect fit.
“If you find someone, and you're still a bit on the fence, give it a try for a little bit.”
Katcher adds that after working with a therapist for a while, it may start to feel like a better fit as you get to know each other more.
Don't let embarrassment keep you from seeking help
Some people may feel uneasy about working with a mental health expert. They may feel ashamed or think it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help. They might also mistakenly think it’s a problem they should deal with on their own. These beliefs can keep them from seeking the help they need.
Don’t let feelings of social stigma keep you from getting treatment. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems are not simply a passing phase that you can simply “snap out of.” Mental illness needs to be treated—just like your body when it gets sick. And even if you’re just going through a little “rough patch,” don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek help.
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This information is not intended to take the place of regular medical care or advice. Please check with your doctor before using this information or beginning any self-care program. Melissa Katcher is not a member of the Silver&Fit Program. Images used for this article do not depict Melissa Katcher nor any members of the Silver&Fit Program.
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This article was written by Gail Olson, edited by Jason Nielsen, and clinically reviewed by Elizabeth Thompson, MPH, RDN, on June 22, 2024.
