4 Lesser-Known Ways to Cope With Stress for a Longer, Happier Life

Stress-easing tools, such as deep breathing and meditation, work great. But to take your stress relief to the next level—learn about these 4 lesser-known, but equally effective, tools.  

Stress is a fact of life—one that you can’t always avoid. Sure, you can learn ways to avoid some of your stress. You can also find ways to cope better with the stress that’s unavoidable. Using both strategies to manage your stress is one of the key lifestyle habits needed for a long, healthy, and happy life.

Poorly managed stress, on the other hand, ages you faster. It disrupts your sleep. It cranks up your cortisol levels, a stress hormone, which, in high amounts, can eventually shorten your telomeres and damage your DNA. That, in turn, shortens your life.  

Long-term stress can also increase inflammation, which raises the risk for conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, and more. All of these stress-induced impacts on your health can shorten your life and diminish its quality.  

So, you can see why it’s a good idea to get a handle on stress with as many tools as you can. Common relaxation tools such as deep breathing, regular exercise, and mindfulness meditation can certainly help. And they should be a part of your stress-relief toolkit. Yet there are other, lesser-known stress-easing strategies you may want to adopt. 

First, pinpoint what stresses you out 

Whether the goal is to avoid stress or learn to cope with it better—figuring out what causes your stress is a crucial first step.  

This may take a bit of time, mindfulness, and self-reflection. Each time you start feeling stressed, pay attention to what’s causing it—and write that stress trigger down. Is it heavy traffic, loud noises, a messy house, finances, or an overly busy to-do list? Is it a family member or co-worker who is getting on your last nerve? Is it a strained relationship? Is it the many problems in the world? Or are you feeling stressed about a recent diagnosis or health condition?  

Spend a week or so identifying and compiling a list of your stress triggers. Then you can take the next step: deciding what to do about them. 

Use the “4 A’s” of stress relief to address your triggers 

There’s a 4-step, easy-to-remember formula that can help you manage your stress. It’s called the 4 A’s of stress relief—avoid, alter, accept, and adapt. These 4 approaches are a little outside the box when it comes to stress relief tools. But they can help—a lot.

Take a look at the list of stress triggers you compiled. Then break them into 4 groups according to which of the 4 A’s will work best to defuse each trigger. Here’s how the 4 A’s can help:

1. Avoid

One of the best ways to ease stress is to avoid it in the first place—if you can. Pinpoint the stressors in your life you can learn to side-step.

• Get a handle on your environmental stressors. Does traffic drive you crazy? Leave early for your destination or take a less traveled route. Hate waiting in line at the grocery store? Go early in the morning when the store is less crowded. Is household clutter driving you nuts? Hold a yard sale or donate stuff you don’t need.
  
  
• Pare down and prioritize your to-do list. It’s easy to think you can get more done in a day than you realistically can. Break up your daily to-do list into 3 separate lists and number them according to top priority. On days when you’re frenzied and running behind, tackle your first list and put the second and third lists on the back burner for another day. And if you don’t get through everything on the first list? Try not to let it get to you. Just move it to tomorrow’s list.
  
  
• Steer clear of people who get on your nerves. If a neighbor, family member, co-worker, or acquaintance irritates you, avoid them—as often and as best you can.  
  
  
• Adopt the word “no” more often. It’s easy to overextend yourself with social engagements, work, caring for family, and/or volunteering. If you’re in that boat, practice saying “no” more often. Turn down the request to organize and host the next neighborhood party or church bake sale. Pass on coaching your grandchild’s softball team. Say no to requests for financial donations or volunteer efforts if you’re strapped for time or money—even if they’re from charities you believe in.

2. Alter

You can change some, if not all, stressful situations.

• Ask others to alter their actions. You can’t control what others do or say. But you can still respectfully ask them to alter how they treat you. If a neighbor blares their music or television late at night, politely ask them to lower the volume or use headphones after a certain hour. If a spouse or roommate leaves dirty dishes in the sink, ask them nicely to clean up after themselves. Try to use "I" statements rather than the more accusatory “you” statements when asking someone to change their actions.
  
  
• Alter your own actions. Think about the daily choices you make and whether they are causing you stress:

- Are you procrastinating on a big project at home or work?  

- Are you putting off a necessary but difficult conversation with a loved one?  

- Are you skipping out on sleep or eating junk food instead of healthy meals?  

- Are you skipping your workouts most days?  

- Are you cramming too many chores and errands into each day?  

Changing these behaviors can help you take control of your stress triggers.

• Alter the stressful event to make it more pleasant. If you simply can’t avoid heavy traffic, then stream a podcast, audiobook, or your favorite music in the car. If the line at the grocery store is really long, strike up a conversation with the person next to you.  
  
  
• Set boundaries ahead of time. You can alter potentially stressful situations by setting clear boundaries—and sticking to them. If a chatty friend calls to talk and you’re having an extremely busy day, respectfully start your conversation with, "I've got only 5 minutes to talk, then I need to get back to what I was doing." If you’re asked to bring a time-consuming dish to a potluck, let the host know you’ll be bringing something else (even if it’s a store-bought food item).

There will be some stressors that you simply can’t avoid or alter. That’s when learning to accept the situation may be the next best choice. Here are some steps to help you learn acceptance.

• Lean on others for support. If you’re facing a stressful situation that you can’t avoid or alter, talking with a trusted friend about your feelings can help you find acceptance.
  
  
• Let go of grudges. Feeling angry is stressful and draining. Learning to forgive someone who hurt you may feel hard to do. But remember that it is not the same thing as excusing the harm. It’s a way of practicing acceptance to free yourself from the anger and resentment you feel, which will help you feel less stressed. Discover how building your emotional intelligence can improve your relationships and lessen your stress.
   
• Learn the art of apology. The opposite side of the forgiveness coin? Accepting when you’ve hurt someone and apologizing for it. If the word “sorry” sticks in your throat, you’re not alone. It can be hard to admit that your behavior fell short. But holding back on an apology or denying that you owe one has some surprising consequences. Feelings of guilt and worries over a damaged relationship can cause stress and even interfere with sleep. It’s important to remember that an apology doesn’t just benefit the other person—it benefits you, too.  
  
  
• Shift any negative self-talk. If you’ve fallen into a pattern of negative thinking—it can both cause you stress and make it harder to cope with. Negative thoughts stymie your ability to solve or accept problems. Say that you tell yourself, “Life is hard right now—I’ve had a lot of bad stuff thrown at me recently, and it is making it hard to be happy.” Try changing that thought to, “I accept that life can definitely throw some struggles my way, but I can learn to cope with them, one at a time.”

Adapting simply means shifting your expectations and personal standards. Doing so can neutralize some of your common stress triggers, so they don’t stress you out so much anymore. Adapting also means tapping your inner strength to help you stay calmer when stress does hit.

• Kiss perfectionism goodbye. Do you really need to clean your house 3 times per week? Would a meal of healthy canned soup and a bag salad suffice after an exhausting day instead of making soup from scratch? Reframe what success means to you, and stop reaching for perfection. This will help you become less reactive and stressed out when things don’t go as planned.  
  
  
• Pull the plug on rumination. If you tend to replay stressful events over and over again in your head, practice “thought stopping.” Distract yourself with a funny movie, some music, or a fun workout.
  
  
• Look for silver linings. Try looking at a stressful problem from a new angle.  If a friend cancels plans, look at it as a chance to stay home and relax, read a favorite book, and/or get caught up on laundry.
  
  
• Repeat positive affirmations. When a stressful event occurs, tell yourself, “I can manage this, and I will get through it.” Repeat these empowering thoughts to yourself whenever difficult situations arise.
  
  
• Cultivate gratitude. Write out a list of all the blessings—large and small—that make your life worth living. What brings you joy? This might be your spouse, children, grandchildren, or pets. It could be good friends, a comfortable home, your health, your hobbies, your values, or your work. When you reflect on these things and feel grateful for them, stressful feelings tend to take a back seat.
  
  
• Take the long view. If you’re in the midst of a stressful event, ask yourself, “Will this really matter in a year or in 5 years?” Most likely, the answer will be no. Realizing a stressful situation won’t matter in the long run can make it a lot less stressful in the here and now.

Take some time to gather all of these stress-reducing strategies for your toolkit. Practice using them one at a time to pinpoint the ones that work best for you. If you find that you’re still feeling stressed after giving these coping tools (and/or others) a try, talk with your doctor. They can refer you to a mental health expert who may be able to help.

Getting a handle on stress, rather than letting it control you, is key to a longer life—but also one that is healthier, happier, and much more meaningful. 

Not a Silver&Fit^® member? Learn more about everything the program has to offer, including more helpful healthy living tips like this, here on our website.

This information is not intended to take the place of regular medical care or advice. Please check with your doctor before using this information or beginning any self-care program. Images used for this article do not depict any members of the Silver&Fit Program.

References

American Psychological Association. (2024, October 22). 11 healthy ways to handle life’s stressors. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/tips

Beyens, U., Yu, H., Han, T., Zhang, L., & Zhou, X. (2015). The strength of a remorseful heart: Psychological and neural basis of how apology emolliates reactive aggression and promotes forgiveness. Frontiers in Psychology, 6:1611. https://www.doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01611

Epel, E. S., & Lithgow, G. J. (2014). Stress biology and aging mechanisms: Toward understanding the deep connection between adaptation to stress and longevity. The Journals of Gerontology Series A: Biological Sciences and Medical Sciences, 69(Suppl 1): S10-S16. https://www.doi.org/10.1093/gerona/glu055

Helpguide.org. (2025, March 13). Stress management: Techniques and strategies to deal with stress. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/stress/stress-management

Mayo Clinic Health Systems. (2021, March 8). The 4 A’s of stress relief. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-4-as-of-stress-relief

Old Dominion University. (2025). The power of positive affirmations. https://www.odu.edu/equity/civility-month/affirmations

Polsky, L. R., Rentscher, K. E., & Carroll, J. E. (2022). Stress-induced biological aging: A review and guide for research priorities. Brain Behavior and Immunology, 104:97-109. https://www.doi.org/10.1016/j.bbi.2022.05.016

Robinson, L., Smith, M., & Segal, J. (2025, March 13). How to stop worrying and end anxious thoughts. HelpGuide.org https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying

Sirois, F. M., Stride, C. B., & Pychyl, T. A. (2023). Procrastination and health: A longitudinal test of the roles of stress and health behaviours. British Journal of Health Psychology, 28(3):860-875. https://www.doi.org/10.1111/bjhp.12658

Sparks, D. (2019, April 21). Try the 4 A’s for stress relief. Mayo Mindfulness. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-mindfulness-try-the-4-as-for-stress-relief/

Yale News. (2021, December 6). Stress makes life’s clock tick faster: Chilling out slows it down. https://news.yale.edu/2021/12/06/stress-makes-lifes-clock-tick-faster-chilling-out-slows-it-down

Yegorov, Y. E., Poznyak, A. V., Nikiforov, N. G., Sobenin, I. A., & Orekhov, A.N. (2020). The link between chronic stress and accelerated aging. Biomedicines, 8(7):198. https://www.doi.org/10.3390/biomedicines8070198

This article was written by Gail Olson, edited by Jason Nielsen, and clinically reviewed by Elizabeth Thompson, MPH, RDN, and LaToya White, MSW, LSW, on April 1, 2025. 

Return to Homepage