Even when life is stressful, you can look for glimmers—those moments that make you feel calm and bring more peace and balance to your life.
Imagine it’s early morning. You’re sitting by a window, a warm drink in your hands. Outside, pink and orange hues streak the sky. The world is still. You feel calm and content.
This is a “glimmer”—a moment that brings you joy and peace. Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, glimmers remind us that beauty and tranquility can be found. Pay attention to these moments. They can help lower your stress and boost your well-being.
Understanding glimmers
You may be familiar with triggers. Triggers are events that activate your sense of danger. They make you feel anxious, fearful, or angry. Glimmers are the opposite. They activate your sense of safety. Glimmers make you feel joyful, peaceful, or relaxed.
The term “glimmers” was coined by Deb Dana , a licensed clinical social worker. She introduced the term in her book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy.”
The polyvagal theory , developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the nervous system responds to stressors. According to the theory, there are 3 main responses: fight or flight, collapse, and social engagement.
The fight or flight response happens when you feel a sense of danger. Your body gets ready to either fight or run from the threat. When the threat feels overwhelming, or you can’t fight or run away, you may freeze or shut down instead. This is the collapse response. But when you feel safe, you can use your social skills to connect with others. This is the social engagement response.
Glimmers can help you shift to social engagement mode. Glimmers are the cues that tell your nervous system you are in a friendly and supportive environment. They are moments that elicit a sense of safety, connection, or joy. They bring calm to your nervous system and signal your body to relax.
The benefits of noticing glimmers
Paying more attention to your glimmers can boost your overall well-being. It’s a form of self-care that helps balance your nervous system. It also helps you cope with the challenges of life. When you actively look for glimmers, you may notice that you feel:
- Less stress and anxiety
- More optimistic and in a better mood
- More connected with others
- More resilient
Easing stress and feeling more optimistic doesn’t only boost well-being. It comes with a host of other health benefits, as well. These include a lower risk for high blood pressure and stroke, along with better sleep, digestion, heart health, and immunity—just for starters.
Pinpointing your unique glimmers
Glimmers are personal. They are the things that make you feel happy and calm. You can find glimmers in small moments every day. A glimmer could be:
- Sipping a fresh cup of coffee
- Exchanging a smile with a stranger
- Sharing a heartfelt laugh with a friend
- Holding hands with your partner or spouse
- Feeling the warmth of the sun
- Enjoying the antics of your pet
- Hearing your favorite song
- Taking in the beauty of nature
Finding more glimmers
When you notice a glimmer, pay attention to how your mind and body respond. Do you feel happy or calm? Did your shoulders relax? Make a mental note. Or you can go a step further and bring more glimmers into your life. Here are some ways to focus on and find more glimmers:
- Keep a glimmer journal: Use a notebook or digital app to write down the moments that make you feel happy or relaxed. Doing this will help you notice your glimmers more often. It will also create a resource you can look back on when times are tough.
- Set reminders to seek out glimmers: Schedule a task or an alarm on your phone to look for glimmers. Or set aside a certain time of day (like lunch) to actively seek out glimmers.
- Engage your senses to find glimmers: You can seek out a glimmer on purpose. Listen to your favorite song, savor a delicious meal, or breathe in the scents that surround you. The key is to focus on the sensory experience and how it makes you feel.
- Create a dedicated space for glimmers: Choose a place where you can relax and immerse yourself in glimmers. Perhaps it’s a quiet room where you can put on your favorite music. Or maybe it’s an outdoor space where you can appreciate nature. Think about what makes you feel calm or joyful and create your own glimmer sanctuary.
- Share your glimmers: Spread positivity by sharing your own glimmers with others. Tell your friends, create a group chat via text, or share on social media. As you all connect with each other, you’ll also inspire one another to seek out more glimmers.
Finding your glimmers won’t take away all your stress. And focusing on your glimmers is not about ignoring life’s challenges. Rather, it’s a way to balance hardships with moments that uplift you. By noting and appreciating glimmers, you can nurture a feeling of wellness in all parts of your life.
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This information is not intended to take the place of regular medical care or advice. Please check with your doctor before using this information or beginning any self-care program. Images used for this article do not depict any members of the Silver&Fit program.
References
Anderson, K. (2023, November 21). An invitation to look for glimmers. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/food-body-love/202311/an-invitation-to-look-for-glimmers
Dana, D. (2018). The polyvagal theory in therapy: Engaging the rhythm of regulation. W. W. Norton & Company. https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Polyvagal_Theory_in_Therapy_Engaging.html?id=vzFeDwAAQBAJ
DiGonis, E. (2023, July 10). Discovering glimmers. CPTSD Foundation. https://cptsdfoundation.org/2023/07/10/discovering-glimmers/
Hanazawa H. (2022). Polyvagal theory and its clinical potential: An overview. Brain and Nerve, 74(8), 1011–1016. https://doi.org/10.11477/mf.1416202169
Mayo Clinic. (2023, November). EAP spotlight on self-care. https://cdn.prod-carehubs.net/n1/5c7278cac6946b78/uploads/2023/11/Nov.23.pdf
Mayo Clinic Minute. (2019, December 11). How optimism improves your health. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-minute-how-optimism-improves-your-health/
University of Arizona Counseling and Psych Services. (n.d.) Easy anxiety tips: Tells, triggers, and glimmers. https://caps.arizona.edu/sites/default/files/2023-06/Tells%2C%20Triggers%2C%20and%20Glimmers.pdf
United States Department of Health and Human Services. (2024, April 2). Manage stress. https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/health-conditions/heart-health/manage-stress#:~:text=Preventing%20and%20managing%20long%2Dterm,which%20tasks%20to%20do%20first
This article was written by Keleigh Somes, edited by Gail Olson, and clinically reviewed by Elizabeth Thompson, MPH, RDN, on July 21, 2024.
